


Supernatural: The Orb of Transmogrification

by jayofmo



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-14
Updated: 2017-05-14
Packaged: 2018-10-31 13:53:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,647
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10900689
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jayofmo/pseuds/jayofmo
Summary: A commissioned story, Dean Winchester finds a cursed orb and he and his brother Sam wind up paying for it.This story involves wacky transformations. If that's not your thing, avoid.





	Supernatural: The Orb of Transmogrification

Dean Winchester poured the rock salt on the tomb.

“And stay there, you freaky son of a bitch,” he grunted as he finished and then pulled out his phone and called his brother Sam.

“We’re done, I’m on my way back,” he said.

“Good,” Sam replied. “I’m just waiting back at the car.”

Dean hung up and started to the entrance of the cave. As he was walking to the front, he noticed a glinting down a passageway he hadn’t seen before.

_Might as well check it out_ , he thought to himself before walking down the passageway and pulling out his flashlight.

Dean quickly saw what had caught his attention. A clay stand held a round crystal ball, about eight inches in diameter. As Dean looked at it, he could see colors run through it, shifting like dye being added to running water.

“Sweet,” he chuckled. He touched it and found it to be chilly, but somehow electrifying. Something made him pick it up, and as he did, the stand cracked and broke.

“Wow, shoddy workmanship,” he observed. “Well, might as well take it with me.”

 

“What’s that?” Sam asked as Dean climbed into the Impala.

“Found it in the cave,” he explained, putting the ball in the back seat. “Figured we can get it checked out.”

“And?”

“And if it’s not dangerous, we can probably pawn it off somewhere for some extra scratch.”

“Whatever, let’s just get back to the bunker,” Sam said as Dean started the car and began playing some music.

A little way down the road, Sam checked his messages on his phone, when he suddenly realized the car was beginning to swerve off the road.

“Dean?” he asked, before looking over at the driver’s seat and seeing no one.

“DEAN!” he yelled and grabbed the steering wheel, carefully pulling the car back on the road when POW! He heard a tire blow. Climbing into the driver’s seat, Sam parked the vehicle before getting out to observe the damage.

The tire was flat. Looked as if it had hit a sharp rock, maybe some glass, and was sitting there useless.

Dean had randomly disappeared before, but Sam was concerned. Usually it wasn’t while driving. Sam looked down the road, just in case. No sign of Dean. He then decided to look in the back seat in case somehow, Dean had slipped back there. He opened the door, and the ball Dean had picked up rolled off the seat, but Sam caught it before it hit the ground and put it back on the seat. Seeing no sign of his brother, he closed the car door and gave him a call.

Sam was surprised to hear Dean’s phone ring from inside the Impala. Taking another look at the driver’s seat, he noticed a small round cushion that he’d sat on when he’d taken over driving the car. He could see the glow of Dean’s phone through the surface of the cushion. He picked it up and realized the cushion had the detail of Dean’s clothes, and on one side was Dean’s flattened face.

“ _Dean?_ ” Sam asked in disbelief.

“Sam?” Dean grunted. “What the hell happened?”

Sam stared at his brother before suddenly, Dean stood before him in normal human form.

“This… this is not natural.”

Dean blinked. “I’m gonna empty my pockets just in case that happens again… Having my phone and wallet inside of me wasn’t exactly the most fun...”

Sam tried to figure things out as Dean put his belongings in the glove compartment.

“Well, I guess we better take care of the tire.”

Dean popped open the trunk.

“Aw, hell, forgot to replace the spare tire since last time.”

Sam was still thinking about what had just happened to Dean.

“When you rock salted that ghost, he didn’t do anything different, did he?”

“No, man, just a typical exorcism, you know.”

Sam sighed.

“Okay,” Dean continued as he got the jack out of the trunk. “I’ll get this jacked up, town’s nearby, you go see if you can get a new tire.”

“Why can’t you?” Sam asked.

“’Cuz of what just happened, Sammy. Can’t risk anyone seeing that if it happens again.”

Sam pulled out his phone to get directions to the nearest place to get a tire, when the phone dropped out of his hand.

“Sammy?” Dean asked, his eyes going wide.

Sam couldn’t move his arms. Glancing at his sides, he couldn’t see his arms. In fact, his legs couldn’t move either. He felt himself bending backward, looking forward.

“Dean?” he asked, scared.

He felt something against the back of his head, then realized it was his shoes. He had formed a complete circle out of his own body. How?

Dean looked down in surprise at his brother.

“I told you to _get_ a tire, not _be_ a tire,” he tried to joke, although he was surprised.

“What?”

“You must’ve been affected by the same thing as me,” Dean observed.

“Well, you can’t use me.”

Dean glanced at Sam, then at the wheel, then back to Sam.

“I mean, it’s only a couple miles back to the bunker… You’ll only have to hold for a few minutes.”

“And if I change back midway?”

“We’ll deal with it if it happens.”

Suddenly, Dean vanished and a rubber ducky dressed in a leather jacket and jeans dropped to the ground. After a couple minutes, Dean was back to normal.

“Okay, okay,” Sam grunted. “Do it, and we can hopefully find out what the hell happened to us.”

Dean quickly put Sam on the wheel, and skipped putting the hubcap back on, throwing the equipment in the back and grabbing Sam’s phone.

For Sam, the drive back wasn’t fun. Being a tire meant being under a lot of pressure and getting very dusty. It was uncomfortable, but not painful.

In a few minutes, they pulled into the garage at the bunker and Dean immediately got the jack out and raised the corner that Sam was on. As soon as he pulled Sam off, his brother resumed his normal form.

“Okay, crisis averted,” Dean said calmly.

“You’re taking this pretty well,” Sam grunted, brushing dust out of his hair.

“Considering all the other shit we’ve been through, it could be a lot worse,” Dean remarked with a chuckle.

Sam coughed and a cloud of dust flew into Dean’s face. Dean winced and wiped the dust from his face.

“How about we get you a drink?” he asked.

“That sounds good.”

 

About ten minutes later, Sam was finishing off his third glass of water when he decided to shower. Dean had walked off somewhere, to his room, Sam assumed.

Sam went to the bathroom and turned on the shower, undressing as he waited for the water to get to a nice temperature. In a couple minutes, he stepped into the shower, letting the warm water rinse off the dust from his body and he ran his fingers through his long hair, making sure it was just hair and skin up there.

Finishing, Sam turned off the water and stepped out onto a bathmat as he reached for a towel to cover himself with.

“Uh… Sammy?” he heard Dean’s voice say. From beneath his feet.

It was then that Sam remembered that they didn’t have a bathmat.

“Shit!” he gasped and wrapped the towel around himself before stepping away to see that the bathmat was in fact, a flat, square-shaped Dean.

“Yeah, Sammy, I just got a full show. Again.”

“Okay,” Sam said, tightening the towel. “I’m going to get dressed, you stay there and...”

“As if I’d be doing anything else?”

Sam huffed and went off to his room, grabbing some jeans and a flannel shirt and slipping them on. He went back into the hall and prepared to go back to the bathroom when he stopped.

_What the heck is going on?_ he thought.  _Why are Dean and I turning into weird stuff?_

He decided to leave Dean in the bathroom and head outside for a breath of fresh air. He went up the stairs in the entry room and left the bunker and thought.

_Nothing weird happened until after Dean came back from the cave with that ball,_ he finally thought.  _Obviously, something’s up with it._

He wasn’t sure what he should do. The ball was back in the car. Dean hadn’t touched it since bringing it in the car and Sam had touched it only once briefly. But those touches were enough. So… it was a curse? And who did they know who could advise them on curses?

Sam turned and headed back into the bunker, but just before he could descend the steps, he found he couldn’t move and his body was growing very thin and folding in on itself in a circular motion.

“Sam?” Dean asked, stepping out of the bathroom as he’d resumed his normal form a moment earlier. He headed for the entrance as he thought he had heard the front door earlier.

“Sam,” he called out, “I was thinking we must’ve been cursed by that thing I picked up. Sorry, I was being a jackass. But you know, maybe Rowena could help us or…”

He’d reached the top of the stairs and found the colorful little slinky toy Sam had become.

“Well, well,” he chuckled to himself. “In this situation, I don’t think you can blame me for pushing you down the stairs.”

Sam made a very muffled protest, but Dean didn’t pay attention as he tipped Sam over, whose coils began to reach down to the next step, drawing the rest of him behind it, and of course, the momentum caused Sam to repeat the process and go down the steps one by one.

Dean stood at the top of the stairs and laughed.

“Great moves, Sammy!” he called down.

Sam finally reached the floor and wound up sprawled in his normal form.

“That wasn’t funny, Dean!” he yelled.

“You’re right, you’re right,” Dean replied. “It was hilarious!”

And with that, Dean seemed to roll backwards on himself and shrink into a five inch rubber ball that bounced down the stairs. Sam watched and as Dean came near, he grabbed him.

“Looks like we’re two for two, brother,” Sam chuckled. He gave Dean a few squeezes before tossing him in the air and kicking him with his ankles like a hacky sack.

“Sam!” Dean yelled during bounces. “Come on! We gotta call Rowena! Gotta get help!”

“I know, but this is just so much fun!”

Sam kicked Dean high into the air, and at his highest point, Dean turned back into his normal form and fell on his brother, who seemed to vanish under Dean’s body.

Dean scrambled up.

“Sam?”

Where he had been lying was a flat two-feet wide disc. Most of it had the detail of Sam’s shirt, except for Sam’s flattened face and hands. Lifting Sam and turning him over, Dean saw the reverse side was Sam’s ass.

“Well, looking good there, Sammy,” he chuckled.

“Dean...”

“Yeah, yeah, I’ll make the call.”

Dean grabbed Sam’s phone and grabbed a beer from the fridge as he dialed the number. As he waited for the Scottish witch to answer, he sat down and put Sam on a table, then put the beer bottle on him.

“Dammit, Dean…”

“And if I didn’t use a coaster?” Dean chuckled before taking a sip of his beer. “Oh, hey, Rowena, seems Sammy and I are in a bit of a pickle. You near the bunker?”

 

“Hello, Winchesters?” asked Rowena, entering the bunker and brushing back her curly red hair.

“Oh, hey,” replied Dean, walking into the entry room.

“Where’s your brother?”

“Uh, he’s around,” Dean said sheepishly.

“You’re just lucky I was in the area,” she commented. “Okay, where’s the thing you found?”

Dean led her to the Impala and opened the back seat door. Rowena was a little startled to see the mysterious ball.

“Do you know what that is?” she asked.

“Well, if we did...” Dean began, but she interrupted.

“It’s the Orb of Transmogrification. Very simple to understand name. If it’s moved by someone who doesn’t use the right spells, they are cursed to randomly change shape until someone breaks the curse.”

Dean suddenly dropped to the ground in the form of a teddy bear. Rowena chuckled and picked him up.

“I had heard it was hidden out near here. I wasn’t interested in getting it myself as using it didn’t interest me, but it seems now I need to assist you boys.”

“Uh, please?” growled the Dean bear.

She laughed.

“How come they couldn’t put a warning label on that thing?” he went on.

“It’s said the name and details of the curse was written on the cave walls in very clear Latin.”

“Well, it was dark and I…”

“I wouldn’t expect Dean Winchester to know Latin.”

Dean looked down, annoyed.

“Fortunately, breaking the curse is easy, we simply have to put it back where it was found.”

“Um...” Dean muttered.

“What did you do?”

“Nothing! It’s just the clay base it was on broke when I moved it.”

“Ah. Well then, there is a simple counterspell and I can take the Orb with me and make sure it’ll never be accidentally found by anyone as stupid as you again.”

“Hey, I might’ve messed up on this, but I’m not stupid.”

“Sure.”

“You should’ve called me in to look, Dean,” came Sam’s voice, seemingly from Dean’s current teddy bear body.

“Just where was Sam around?” Rowena asked with a smile.

Dean sighed. “My ass?”

“Yeah, can you take me off already?” Sam’s voice came again.

“Well, I might as well help out then,” the witch replied with a laugh. She pulled off Dean’s pants and found Sam turned into a speedo that Dean was wearing over his underwear, only now Sam was very small as he was being worn by a teddy bear. Rowena pulled him off and put Dean’s pants back on.

“Now that’s an experience I was not expecting,” Dean sighed.

Rowena chuckled and chanted a few spells in a strange language and in a moment, Sam and Dean were back to their normal human forms in front of her. She picked up the Orb.

“There we go, it’s as harmless as a bowling ball now,” she said. “Just, I’d like some repayment for the favor.”

“Sure, anything you want,” Sam replied.

Rowena smirked.

 

“ _Anything you want?”_ Dean asked Sam as the two danced in the den as Rowena sat back with a drink. They were dressed in only tight speedos and Rowena had used the power of the Orb to plump up their posteriors.

“This is honestly the least weird thing we’ve had happen to us all day, Dean.”

Rowena shushed them.

“I asked for a nice show, not commentary,” she remarked.

“All right, let’s please the lady, then,” Dean commented.

He began gyrating his behind very provactively.

“Where did you learn moves like that?” Sam asked.

“My secret. Just follow along!”

Sam chuckled and tried to copy, but was not doing very well.

“This is not how I planned the spend the night,” Sam chuckled, “but okay.”

Rowena sighed.

“Enough with the commentary. To be honest, I’m more interested in the visuals.”

She looked to the orb and touched it.

Sam and Dean vanished and a large poster fell to the floor. Both of them were on it, seductively looking behind them, their rear ends turned towards the viewer.

Rowena picked it up. “Very nice design, I shall need a souvenir. And you’re finally being quiet. But I think the print shop is closed, so good night, lads.”

She rolled up the poster and tucked it under her arm.

“I hope you don’t mind my sleeping over,” she laughed.

_I’m never touching anything strange ever again,_ Dean thought to himself.


End file.
